#92 Mimetic Desire
Thesis I: Our desires are modeled to us by others, what we desire is mimetic or imitative. Most people believe that their desires are intrinsic, uninfluenced by others (this is what Rene Girard calls the Romantic Lie)
Thesis II: What is intrinsic is our desire to be (someone) and to belong (to some tribe or group). The true root of desire is never in the objects or experiences we pursue, it is about the other person from whom we've learned to want these things. We want to be the person who modeled our desires.
Once our basic needs (food, shelter, security, sex) are met, we spend less time concerned about surviving and more time striving for things - or more time in the world of desires. As humans we do one thing better than anyone else - learn by watching and copying others. The most important thing we learn is how to want.
Desire require models - people who endow things with value for us merely because they want the things. Hence, desires do not have a stable hierarchy and fluctuate over time - as we can begin to want something new at any given time if the right model comes long.
Desire is always for something we think we lack. We are attracted to things when they are modeled to us in an attractive way, by the right model. We are attracted to things that we don't currently have, especially things that appear just out of reach. The greater the obstacle, the greater the attraction.
Desire is not for objects but for being (the person who models our desires) or belonging (to a group or tribe). Belonging can be for inclusion into a group (equivalency) or exclusion from a group to a higher group (non--equivalency). We admire our models for being our inspiration, and we simultaneously come to resent them and hate them for being our obstacle and rival.
Mimetic desire impacts us in different ways:
Models who fan our desires begin to exert an outsized influence on us
It causes us to pursue and acquire things we don't need and leaves us unfulfilled
It induces a lot of self deception (as you want to be the person who modeled your desires). You start to change your identity to be consistent with who you feel you ought to be
Leads to rivalry and conflicts are more people desire the same thing or want to be like one person
This post is a summary from a chapter in Luke Burgis book - Wanting and Alex Danco's post.